Might as well laugh as cry

You may have heard on the news about a Southern California man who 

was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned
100 guns and allegedly had 100,000 rounds of ammunition stored in hishome.
The house also featured a secret escape tunnel. By Southern California standards, 
someone owning 100,000 rounds isconsidered "mentally unstable."

In Michigan, he'd be called "The last white guy still living in Detroit."

In Arizona, he'd be called "an avid gun collector."

In Arkansas, he'd be called "a novice gun collector."

In Utah, he'd be called "moderately well prepared," but they'd probably reserve 
judgment until they made sure that he had a corresponding quantity of stored food."

In Kansas and Missouri, he'd be "A guy down the road you would want to have for a friend."

In Montana, he'd be called "The neighborhood 'Go-To' guy."

In Idaho, he'd be called "a likely gubernatorial candidate."

In Georgia, he'd be called "an eligible bachelor."

In North Carolina, Virginia, W.Va., Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee,
Kentucky and South Carolina he would be called "a deer hunting buddy."

And in Texas: he'd just be "Bubba, who's a little short on ammo."

 rounds of ammunition stored in hishome.
The house also featured a secret escape tunnel. By Southern California standards, 
someone owning 100,000 rounds isconsidered "mentally unstable."

In Michigan, he'd be called "The last white guy still living in Detroit."

In Arizona, he'd be called "an avid gun collector."

In Arkansas, he'd be called "a novice gun collector."

In Utah, he'd be called "moderately well prepared," but they'd probably reserve 
judgment until they made sure that he had a corresponding quantity of stored food."

In Kansas and Missouri, he'd be "A guy down the road you would want to have for a friend."

In Montana, he'd be called "The neighborhood 'Go-To' guy."

In Idaho, he'd be called "a likely gubernatorial candidate."

In Georgia, he'd be called "an eligible bachelor."

In North Carolina, Virginia, W.Va., Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee,
Kentucky and South Carolina he would be called "a deer hunting buddy."

And in Texas: he'd just be "Bubba, who's a little short on ammo."