FIRING

Dear Ms Pelosi. "Fired" is a term that the mitary never uses. They love to choose acronyms, RIF (reduction in force) or SERB (selective early retirement board ). But, "fired" is the reality of what the military is about to do. The indiscriminate reductions will be demoralizing to the military. What the Army leadership has already shown is that the decision makers have no earthly idea of what it means: "Firing" young captains who are off at war. As my mom would say, "scandalous." 

I was at Fort Bliss in Texas when we had the RIF (Reduction in Force ) after Vietnam. The military threw out soldiers who had literally given their life's blood, young helicopter pilots, for instance; who had been to Vietnam over and over. It is not personal, with what we call, "bean counters" but they (the RIFed) take it personally. For Vietnam, we used them up and threw them out like yesterday's garbage. 

I am retired military and one of your constituents and see us in a crucial spot. As the Army draws down, my suggestion is to maintain troop levels without "firing" soldiers. Normal attrition will take care of the issue I think. 

One of my big concerns is that Congress will be led down the primrose path by the generals and high ranking civilians. Often, they talk about their concern for soldiers but it comes across  empty. "Nothing is too good for the soldier and that is what they get, nothing." 

Give the Army a mission order: "reduce the Army." They look at the numbers without counting the cost, it affects morale, unit integrity and motivation. 

We probably have too many generals and we need to reduce their ranks. Think about it. We "fire" the heart of the Army, young Captains; and we don't touch the generals. (This is just speculation and to be fair, I am just giving an example). But, when I watch the military in Congressional hearings, I often think to myself, does Congress have a clue of their BS. 

Thank you for this opportunity. I haven't told you anything that you probably
don't already know. This is just feedback from my perspective. I have nothing to gain and have no agenda other than "always for the troops." 

Jerry Autry
Chaplain (COL)
USA, Ret. 

JIM ROCKFORD

Jim Garner, my hero, just died. When I was in the Army, the only way my daughter could stay up late if she was watching The Rockford Files with me. He was my hero. I was Jim Rockford. He lived with his dad in a trailer and had a great car. It was one of those sporty Pontiac's. He loved that car. 

After the military, I can remember writing a piece about him for a now defunct newspaper. I was maxed out upset to see the show end and went through a period of grief. How could Jim leave us? Looking back now, "The Rockford Files" was a much simpler time. His cases were pretty straight forward. Rarely was there gun play. I think he had a girl friend but there was little snuggle time if you get my drift. Rocky, the Dad lived with him but we don't much family drama: no Twitter/Facebook. I still miss Jim Rockford. God bless him on his journey. 

POT

Drugs are a scourge. Let's get that out of the way. I often debate friends, other professionals, whoever they might be, whether "pot" is a gateway drug. Recently, I have confirmed it again in my own mind and it is bullshit to say it isn't. Here's an example. 

In a set of circumstances, I tried to assist a family member in getting into a drug rehab program. Here are a string of emails, disguised of course. The issue at hand is getting a "heroin addict" in a program. 

I think I have a plan of action.  I will pass my ideas along to the Grandparents who will

possibly fund treatment if neccesary. 

Here is my plan: As a test of resolve and intent, I asked the immediate family members (mother/father) to set up a meeting with the "addict," the two of them and me. I would discuss what would be needed for me to recommend to the grandparents that they get financially involved, i. e., paying for rehab. 

This is a test for the parents, obviously.  The parents wrote the book on dysfunction. If the parents cannot make this happen, rehab would be a waste of time and money. For someone to go to rehab, get clean and return to the same environment is simply stupid. The addict/daughter has to want this, not simply be willing, the parents must understand the commitment they are signing up for.  

Of all the drugs, heroin is the most difficult to come off and stay off.  To me, with my years of experience with soldiers and drugs, this is step #1.

This is the Grandmother's email to the addict granddaughter: 

1. The only thing that matters between you and me is how very much I have always loved you, and always will; how much you love me.
   
2. I know you are a heroin addict. (Just learned.)
   

Any shame or disappointment or anger you imagine I might feel would be meaningless even if it were real. Any disappointment or anger or betrayal you might feel – because I did not figure out what was going on with you, because I failed in my role as the source of strength and wisdom you believed you could count on, your invincible protector – all of that is now meaningless, even if it were real.

 The world boils down to two incontrovertible truths:

1. You are in a fight for your life. And the only person in the world who can fight that fight … is you.
   
2. Games and denial will kill you. If you choose not to fight, you will die. If you choose to die, it is my greatest wish that, as you take your last breath, you will hold in your heart all the love I feel for you. You have always been the light of my life. Nothing you have ever done, or ever will do, can ever change that.
   

 Just like everything else in life, this is a choice. This is the most difficult choice you will ever face, because you are engaged with a demon that will never wave a fond farewell. Every day of your life, you will wake up and look in the mirror and see that demon standing beside you. Your only hope of survival is to surround yourself with people who know how to fight this demon. People who will help you remember how very important you are to the world. Not just to my world; but to your own world. The talents you bring to the world. Your capacity to love and be loved by so many of us. All of that is worth living for.

 Be very clear, no matter how much we all wish it were not so – no matter how desperately I wish I could wrap you in my arms and save you from this ravenous disease that can, without doubt, steal you away from me … there is no one currently in your world, who can give you the help you need. You must choose to seek that help, those people, on your own.

 Please, Please choose to fight. Please choose to seek the people who can help you. You do not have to walk this horror alone.

One of the great advantages of being a soldier all these years, you get hardened to the BS factor. All we are interested in is the "Addict." This is only about her. I don't hold out much hope, the term, the demon, pretty appropriate. . 

All of her family appear to be pretty sad characters. Based on past experience I have to say, to be even more candid, I have to say that I am not so much hopeful as realistic. The addict is not going to follow through and when they do, she is 26 -- so no minor/legal issues; plus I can't imagine two more toxic people to have around someone who might be trying to find the courage to heal. And certainly, they aren't exactly role models for the process! Admit to regularly smoking pot and abusing other drugs and alcohol. 

HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THE ORIGINAL QUESTION?

Is pot a gateway drug?

Me: what are you taking?

Addict: I have been clean for a week. 

Before then?

Heroin

Were you shooting up? 

Yes.

How did you start with drugs? 

I started with marihuana. 

Then what happened?

After awhile, I wanted something stronger. 

Do you think all drug users begin with pot

I do. It does with everybody I know. 

 

Rational Emotive Therapy

"Don't believe everything you think" (saw this on a bumper sticker). This is the theme of RET (Rational Emotive Therapy) called by many names and basically says, "it is not what happens to you that is the problem but how you look at it." In other words, what you think about it. 

Albert Ellis, who has departed this life and I am not sure where he is in the next as he was an avowed atheist. But, he was so objective about issues that this is what he would say: "Nobody has ever proven there is a God but nobody has ever proven, there isn't." See what I mean. Your thoughts will often get you in a personal abyss, if you are not on top of them. We already do it but work to always have positive conversations in your head. Simple example, You think something. "Someone doesn't like you." Why is that? 

"They snubbed me." 
How? 
"They didn't speak to me." 
Maybe they didn't see me. Their life is out of control, they are just trying to make it through the day. Loads of things. (Self talk in your head). You control your thinking and "don't believe everything you think."

 

The New VA Chief Nomination.

The Prez's new appointment to be VA Chief sounds good on paper. I am a midget so not a big deal what I think. The big news is that he is a West Point Graduate and business type. His education at West Point costs us a cool mil, minimum. For a great education he had to pay back five years. What I have noticed with West Point, "ring knockers," as we call them: They have loyalty to West Point, not necessarily to the military that serves the country. So, is he a good choice and does touting his West Point connection make him the best. Maybe, he is a paratrooper and this gives him points. VA has some problems and I do think they overall get a bad wrap. Thinking one man is magic, what the f..k are we smoking!!! 

A NO HITTER

Sometimes in life, things happen to you that defy explanation. Not that it is all that unorthodox but still there are times in your life that are "gee whiz" events. I just had one. Sharon, a really good friend, fought breast cancer for two or three years. To say that she was pretty remarkable before the breast cancer diagnosis would be an understatement. After the diagnosis, she ramped it up several notches. 

Cancer is such an insidious disease and it never affects any two just alike. Sharon did everything right. She fought it: a double mastectomy, clinical trials, you name it. None of it worked. All of us who knew her had no doubt she would beat it. She didn't. 

Sharon's life had never been easy. Fighting for things, the child who had to be the parent to a mother with mental illness. Always she was charging. My goodness. A marriage that died because of a narcissistic physician husband who believed what people told him about physicians' place in the Trinity. Finally, divorced, relieved of this burden, she went to school; working, making contributions in her community, her church. In a word, she was fantastic. Her loss to the universe--the collective holes in our hearts; we thought the universe might possibly sink under the weight of our grief. 

Now gone a couple of years, her husband, Nick, calls me. "Want to go to a ballgame." Did I mention that Sharon's sport passion in life was baseball. She didnot just love it, she breathed it, her overwhelming interest; the SF Giants. Equally she loved the Oakland Athletics. Let's face it, she loved baseball. She knew the players, stats--she believed in the strategy. Want to get in a discussion? Start talking about the game being slow. "You have to understand the strategy," she would emphatically say. She could have easily been an announcer or better still, a manager. 

(To Nick, on a game) "Sure." 

"Well, there are a couple of day games." To be honest I was not all that excited (I love to watch baseball but mainly from the comfort of my living room where my ADD could multitask). She mildly chastised me a couple of times for getting restless at games. She only put up with me because I was always up for going mostly to anything, but, for her, my company at baseball was just fine. 

Nick mentioned, "I feel compelled, haven't been to a game lately and Sharon would want to go." I didn't take much convincing as a flood of memories swamped me. So, here we are going to the game. We don't even have tickets. We did make it: went to the ballgame. Saw a "no hitter," We were stunned. I am convinced that Sharon made it happen. She loved baseball and the two people she loved most in the whole world were at the game and she needed to make it special and what better way than a "no hitter." A miracle. ⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾

Iraq

Watching these columns of ISSI trucks in the desert snaking their way toward Baghdad maybe. A half dozen F15s could have laid waste to this group. If we are going to do something, let's do it and get the hell out. Why would we wait on the Iraqis, we have been doing that for years and they haven't done s..t. 

VIETNAM Confession

I heard today a really interesting statistic: 75% of Vietvets are dead. Wow. It is true of my old unit. It reminded me of something confessing at this late date of my life. I am not sure if I told you but when I first got to Germany this Lieutentamt came to see me as he had orders for Vietnam and I had just returned. We had a talk and he left out of my office, got in his MG and defected to Sweden. It got to be a big joke: don't be letting people talk to the chaplain, they'll go AWOL (absent without leave).  Although most took it as a joke, the commander didn't. He became convinced that I talked the Lieutenant into deserting. The commander and I were already at odds, however.  It was a missile unit and he thought I was gone from the headquarters. I disagreed and felt my job was visiting the troops. The commander reported his suspicions to our higher headquarters. Some Major came out to question me. I denied saying anything to the Lieutenant that would cause him to go AWOL. The Major was gung HO, pretty arrogant and I eventually told him to kiss my behind. It was a very tough time in Germany in general. Many of the soldiers had just come from Vietnam. They had been at war and here the Army wanted them to soldier, spit shine boots, etc. They weren't having any of it. Lots got involved in drugs. Many, simply crashed and burned. I blame the Generals and higher ups. They didn't do anything to help. The racial climate was awful. As for my situation, it blew over. 

Did I suggest to the Lieutenant that he should consider another course of action. Yes. I told him what Vietnam was like. That he had a good chance of getting killed, that I had become disillusioned with the war and that I would probably go back to Vietnam because I had an obligation to the troops. Yes, I confess, I probably encouraged him to defect. 40 years later, how do I feel about it. I wish I had talked more into it. 

Richard Pearl

If I am not mistaken, Tommy Franks, the general who led the American invasion of Iraq, called Richard Pearl, one of the NEOCONS, the dumbest man in America. I heard Richard Pearl today on NPRs "Take Away." I think Gen Frank (Although he is not blameless on Iraq) had something but Pearl is in mainly a sense of denial about what is. No politician/General or someone like Pearl will admit they "fucked up."

INCOME EQUALITY

A couple of nights ago, NPR (National Public Radio) profiled a youngster in Washington DC who is the valedictorian of her class, Anacostia High. She is homeless. My wife went to Anacostia High.  

This youngster is an example of why "income inequity" is a crucial issue. Here's a rhetorical question. How many of us are moved/inspired by this story enough to get financially involved? I venture to say that most of the NPR audience would be more likely to help than most.  Those who have the big bucks probably wouldn't do s..t. 

My wife tells me, "wake up and smell the roses," greed is what drives the super rich, many of whom made enough money in the stock market yesterday to fund this homeless youngster through her entire college years. 

In a real sense, our philosophy is simply f..ked. F..ked being the strongest anachronism for the moral ineptitude of most  "Mericans."

"Of my father's children, I love myself the best. If the Lord provides for me, the devil take the rest." 

SCAM

"Mericans" are the most generous people on the planet, let's face it. The Sunday NYT had a story about how orphanes in Cambodia are using kids, many who have parents, to vigorously tug the heart strings of wealthy individuals. In other words, suckering the donors. 

I thought of my Army experience in Korea with orphanges. (We still have 40,000 troops in Korea). The soldiers invariably get involved with orphanages. And, not a bad thing. These orphans are not "orphans" in the strict sense but a cultural thing. Koreans don't believe in promiscuity. Oh yeah! Guess what? It exists in Korea. The female, sans husband, is hidden away; D day and then the baby, at some point is taken to some public place and abandoned, in a responsible way--very organized and never discussed. (Koreans, that I love, wrote the book on denial). The police come, get the baby, take it to a baby orphanage. "Mericans" in the military get involved. I sponsored a six year old. I would get him from the orphanage, take him to the American Camp and let him spend the day: good eats, a present. A feel good thing. I had to teach my little troop how to use an indoor bathroom. I demonstrated. He got it. 

STUPIDITY PERSONIFIED

Honest Abe is reported to have said, "I am not bound to win but I am bound to be true. I will stand with any man when he is right. Stand with him while he is right and depart from him when he goes wrong." I have been a big supporter of the President but if we are stupid about Iraq, I will have to depart from him. The very fact that he is uttering thoughts of intervening is beyond the pale. 

Intervening in Syria was a much better option. But, Iraq, a country that threw us out! Give me a break! Based on the present government, their absolute impotency; and an army that has alienated the people and deserts in the face of armed opposition, what the hell are we thinking. The Mideast is a caldron of confusion and we need to stay the f..k out of it. We have to take responsibility for many things--failure to have a "crystal ball" for one. But, allowing the NEOCONS to lead George W into the Iraq morass is almost unforgivable. Let's face it, for who they were and especially with hindsight, the Iraqis were doing fine with Saddam. 

I don't remember all the players and don't have the emotional energy to call up their mistakes. But, the first one was the General who was suppose to administer the peace. Then there was Paul Bremer. I don't want to give him the benefit of the doubt. Here is where we begin with the idea that we could screw up a two car funeral possession. Bremer was either incompetent or stupid as he singlehandedly dissolved the Iraq Army. 

What happens is what often happens is not only lack of commo but a bunch of civilians sitting around pontificating like war is some sort of f..king chess game. Colin Powell in particular should have known better. Originally, they were going to dismantle just the Republican Guard and keep the Iraqi Security Forces but in former SecDef McNamara's words, in the Fog of War, it all got f..ked up.  

We came in under an umbrella of stupidity--weapons of mass destruction being the major one. With the Army disbanded, along with the institutions of the country, there was no way of insuring the peace. Attempting to impose an American type democracy was like dropping a turd in the punch bowl. We f..k up. 

But, in our own way, we tried to rectify things and gloss over the mess we created by throwing money at it. We pumped billions of dollars into reconstruction in trying to create a democracy, even in the mist of corruption. It didn't work and then a wonderful thing happened, they threw us out. And, now, even hearing the president utter these words of possible "options." What in the f..k is he thinking? 

INCOME INEQUALITY

A couple of nights ago, NPR (National Public Radio) profiled a youngster in Washington DC who is the valedictorian of her class, Anacostia High. She is homeless. My wife went to Anacostia High.  

This youngster is an example of why "income inequity" crucial issue. Here's a rhetorical question. How many of us are moved/inspired by this story enough to get financially involved? I venture to say that most of the NPR audience would be more likely to help than most.  Those who have the big bucks probably wouldn't do s..t. 

My wife tells me, "wake up and smell the roses," greed is what drives the super rich, many of whom made enough money in the stock market yesterday to fund this homeless youngster through her entire college years. 

In a real sense, our philosophy is simply f..ked. F..ked being the strongest anachronism for the moral ineptitude of most  "Mericans."

"Of my father's children, I love myself the best. If the Lord provides for me, the devil take the rest." 

HILLARY

I just listened to an interview with Hillary Clinton about her book, "Hard Choices". None of these people ever admit they f..ked up. Every situation is told from their perspective which is more fiction than anything. What galls me is that scores of "Mericans" will buy her book and reinforce the fiction. 

POW or DESERTER

Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, the last known American POW, was freed after five years in captivity — an ordeal that began and ended in Afghanistan under a shroud of mystery."

The shroud of mystery becomes pretty clear once you read the exchanged emails between the soldier and his dad. In the weeks before he walked away into the shadows, he was becoming more and more disillusioned. Going AWOL in the Afghanistan environment would have to be some kind of dumb move. It is not like an experience I had in Germany with a LT who had orders for Vietnam. I had just come back and he was quizzing me. He left my office, got into his MGB and went to Sweden. Afghanistan ain't Sweden. 

There are so many issues surrounding this soldier. His email messages are crucial as examples of the type of wars we've been fighting and what role social media plays in them--crazy. Us Vietnam vets can't conceive of being in a firefight at war and it is over, "have to email home." What the heck is this! 

Unbelievable. Think about it: a lonely, disillusioned emotionally unsophisticated soldier in the wilderness of Afghanistan emailing his Dad these views of what is going on. At best the emails are a distraction and at worse, they often destroy morale or create disillusionment like that of Bergdahl. Bergdahl appears to have brought with him ideas that are wacky (at least to me) and at the same type, "Alice in Wonderland," wakes up in a new world every morning. 

I've read the Rolling Stone article. Good writing but with RS, always an angle. A Rolling Stone reporter did in General McChrystal. And, who knows about that. My Gen. Chrystal conspiracy theory is that he outsmarted the reporter. McChrystal knew that Afghanistan was a "fast train to nowhere" and this was a chance to escape. How best to do it, criticize the commander. 

In order to really get it, you have to understand the mindset of soldiers. It is a herd mentality and one that is geared, under almost any circumstance, to bitch and piss and moan as we call it, about their leaders. Look at Bergdahl's emails, putting the bad mouth on "Merica's" approach to the war. (This guy is a private, in military parlance, he is only allowed to breathe, not think).

"I am sorry for everything here," Bergdahl told his parents. "These people need help, yet what they get is the most conceited country in the world telling them that they are nothing and that they are stupid, that they have no idea how to live."

 Is this true? Probably, but, his "perception" (a person's perception is his reality but does not mean it is accurate) of what is. (Tom, you are the first one I heard this from). He then referred to what may have been a possible traumatic event: (RS) seeing an Afghan child run over by an American vehicle. "We don't even care when we hear each other talk about running their children down in the dirt streets with our armored trucks... We make fun of them in front of their faces, and laugh at them for not understanding we are insulting them."  

According to Rolling Stone, he concluded his e-mail with what, in another context, might read as a suicide note. "I am sorry for everything, the horror that is America is disgusting." Then he signed off with a final message to his mother and father. "There are a few more boxes coming to you guys...feel free to open them, and use them."

Bob Bergdahl responded to his son's final message not long after he received it. His subject line was titled: OBEY YOUR CONSCIENCE!

"Dear Bowe," he wrote. "In matters of life and death, and especially at war, it is never safe to ignore ones' conscience. Ethics demands obedience to our conscience. It is best to also have a systematic oral defense of what our conscience demands. Stand with like minded men when possible." He signed it simply "dad."

His dad is also culpable in my opinion. Knowing his son, this is not the message to give hIs son in the wiles of Afghanistan. He gave his son permission to go AWOL. (Absent Without Leave). 

We too are at fault. It is a sorry war and we have put our soldiers in impossible situations. Did the president do the right thing in getting Bergdahl home? I think so but now Bergdahl has to face the consequences of his actions. I feel sorry all the way around. There are no winners here. We could learn valuable lessons but I doubt we will. 

SLEEP

At war, sleep is always a premium. In Nam, we could go days and seemingly never sleep. You get to a point where you would almost do anything to get a little shut eye. Here's a good sleep story. It was raining and a bunch of us went into this little hut. It was probably two in the morning. The rain was coming down in sheets. I lay down on some straw along with some other guys. Just to get a few minutes would be like heaven. It seems we hadn't slept in days. Fast asleep and instinctantly I woke up. A rat was sitting on my stomach. A rat as big as a cat. If I moved, I could count on a bite and rabies. I was absolutely petrified. Finally the rat moved off. Forget sleep. If I have told war story before slap me. 

TRAGIC

The Santa Barbara thing is so tragic. In my view we are not off the hook. People should have recognized early on that he was crazy. The sexual thing, his sense of rejection, is interesting. 

He is not an attractive guy but there was somebody out there for him. Somebody like me should have grabbed him and slapped the shit out of him. There are many ways to shape him up. One article I read said, "sexually repressed;" everybody in the Muslim world is that. Here is a guy that those like myself should have been on top of it. F..k, in San Francisco, he could get laid for free, could have paid a few bucks, gotten a massage. I would have kicked his ass. I failed. This is being a little facetious but every time something happens like this, I always think there is a moment in time. Dang. 

POW

“I wouldn’t want to do it again but it was part of the experience of my life. Life is sort of an adventure. Sometimes the adventure gets out of hand”

Robert J. Flynn, shot down during the Vietnam war. He spent most of his time in solitary confinement. He retired as a Commander in the Navy. This a LTC. If he had been in the Army, he would have retired as a general. The Marines would have nominated him for Sainthood. Rightly so. What the f..k is wrong with the Navy. Plus, the damn inequity of it all. And, this isn’t to take away from these kids in the sorry ass wars of Iraq and Afghanistan who received the “Medal of Honor.” Commander Flynn should have gotten the Medal of Honor. What he got was what any military type will tell you: “I also served” medals. This p…sses me off to the max. What the f..k is wrong with those Navy weenies. I want to personally apologize to his wife and family.

Pics

EXPERIENCE

Yesterday, I am hanging out at one of  my favorite Coffee Houses (this is the literal name. It has big, great chairs, sofas), the place is mostly empty, very early. I am smiling because of a trite incident but weird. I am getting my coffee after paying and ordering an Elvis bagel (peanut butter, honey, and banana)." This female walks in the door,  off the street with her own coffee cup, puts cream in her coffee and walks out like she thinks this is some sort of community coffee house where you don't have to pay. What the hell is this? I am smiling. 

I sit in one of the big sofas so I can watch the street, busy, very comforting. This lady who honestly looks like you would think a "bag lady" (homeless) comes and sits down across from me. There is this entire place where she could have chosen. She is layered. Clothes on top of clothes. This is Frisco. (Using Frisco as I have just discovered that we were led down the primrose path by SF Chronicle, Columnist, Herb Cain. I never liked him anyway and as my Priest buddy, Ed Kristoff use to say, "he was a gossip."
Anyway, Frisco was the original name). 

I think, "What the hay," I should at least spring for coffee for the woman," although she is not asking for anything. This is an aside but relevant I think. 
If you live in a big city and confront the homeless regularly, you learn tricks: Ignore them, never stop and talk, don't engage. I usually don't pay any attention to these ideas, it is kind of the culture to me and I think, "how best to deal with it." I often fork over a buck or so, to most. I've heard all the arguments, "if you give them money, it encourages. I don't give a s..t. It is worth something maybe for the indignity of having to beg, pander? What the flying fig as my dad would say! 

Some have great scams. "Can you  spare a quarter?" Give me a break, he/she doesn't plan to stop at a quarter. If you give it to him, he knows he has potential for more. I like the guys who are selling the "Street Sheet." It is a small newspaper about homeless issues. Here's an exchange of last week. "OK, give me one of those Street Sheets." 
"Man, you are the best," as I hand him a dollar. He looks to be about 60, thin, very articulate, "Man, I can use some help. I would love a burger. I haven't eaten all day." 
"How much are we talking about?" 
"Oh five bucks." 
"What!" 
"Well, you know things are expensive. However you can help."
I laugh. He has me. "OK." 
"Man, one more dollar will get me a burger and a drink." 
What the hell, I am already into him for $5. LOL. I have been scammed and I know it. A few weeks ago at the ballpark while I am waiting for a friend, this guy kept talking to me and before I know it, he has me for $20. I love the signs. The best one I've seen lately is, "Please help? My family has been abducted by aliens." He got a buck from me for originality. 

The layered look, possibly bag lady/homeless opens up this gigantic satchel. She takes out all these artist supplies and before my eyes draws this really beautiful colored piece of art. Elvis bagel finished, I decide to risk commenting. "Beautiful drawing. Do you ever sell your art?" 
"Yes." 
How much for this piece?" 
"20." 
"I'll take it." 
"Really" 
"Yes." 
"I want to autograph." 
Here is where I think we might be dealing with something. She autographed, put her address on the back. Turned it over. Wrote her name again. Addressed, repeated the same info. I finally said, "I have to go." 
She gave up her art. I handed her $20. Then gave her a $5 for coffee. The money is insignificant, the experience was priceless.