ROBERT SHERRILL

It was the first time I had thought of him in a long time. He was a hell raising journalist that seemed to take on everybody if he saw them soft peddling the truth. There were several quotes which were titles usually for his writing. "Military justice is to justice as military music is to music." Here's another that I loved. "The Saturday Night Special: and other guns which Americans used to win the west, protected bootleg franchises, slew wildlife, robbed countless banks, shot husbands purposely, and ... killed presidents--I loved this guy. God bless him on his journey. Sherrill, an original maverick where God only made one. 

EARTHQUATE

“In Northern California, the idea is never “if” but “when” an earthquake. We had a 6.0 this morning. It seemed to go on forever. It woke me. I immediately remembered the La Prietta on Oct 17, 1989. I was at Letterman Army Medical Center on the Presideo, standing in the Lobby, talking with a family about withdrawing life support from
their terminally ill father. The earthquake happened. Everybody scattered. Suddenly, I was by myself. A chunk of the outside structure had fallen. The Marina was burning. We were rushing docs to help. The Bay Bridge had collapsed. We had an earthquake!!!!!!!”

GdA

FERGUSON

What else is there to say about Ferguson? There are so many things that are intertwined. To have a "clean" statement is impossible. I have done an informal discussion with these old guys I hang out with two or three times a week. Plus, I am part of an email group with close to a dozen retired military types. All the whites pretty much see it the same: "Unfortunate police action but can't tolerate lawlessness. Rioting, etc puts it in different category. Now, thugs have come in to take advantage."

 Most African Americans deal with the heavy handedness of the police, the brutality. Even the most hardcore would have to admit, "shooting a teenager six times in the head is a bit much." Issues like no jobs, president's fault, too much military style policing. Questioning of heavy handedness. All over the map. 

Regardless of where we stand on Ferguson, we can say beyond a shadow of a doubt, "we have not solved the issue of race in our country." 

RACE

Are race relations as bad as ever in America. I don't think so. Much is the media. Never forget that the media wants a story, not necessarily the truth. 

 

THE SIXTIES REVISITED. I was on the way to Vietnam when riots erupted  over the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King.  Amazing that few things have changed about race in the country. African Americans accusing  the police of being heavy handed and the police accusing the protestors of being violent. 

I thought the former mayor of Ferguson was close to the truth. On the "News Hour" when asked about racial profiling, he said something like, "When a policeman sees a car with expired tags, he is going to pull it over. The vast majority of the time, the car owner is an African American who can't afford to pay for tags. This is 80% of the time. Is that racial profiling? So, issue is as much economic as race?

These little townships around St Louis have the vast majority as blacks. Yet the elected officials and police are mostly white. What is this?

IRAQ REVISTED

I opposed the Iraq war from the very beginning as it was built on fraud. George W f..k up, let's face it--Listened to the neocons who still are in denial. 
We finally got out of Iraq luckily through the bungling of Nouri al-Maliki
who has maintained a crazy hold on power. 

We lucked out. Now, a weary nation (at least those who care), are faced with what to do again in Iraq? The president has taken a courageous stance in bombing. We can't turn our backs on defenseless people like the Yazidis. It is not in our nature.  The bombing seems to be working. We have stopped the advance of fanatics who kill indiscriminately anybody who doesn't agree with them. I think I would take a little riskier tacict than just bombing. Forget those like John McCain. What the f..k is wrong with him. He was a POW for God's sake and ought to be bigger than all this criticism he constant levels. He is still a sore loser I think. And Hillary, politics. Give me a break. But, with what I've read, we are dealing with murderous fanatics. Vicious fanatics like ISSI must be confronted. And we should be prepared to facilitate their martyrdom. Air strikes alone will not do it. There is no winning this war on terrorism, they continue to multiply but we can win this battle. We should deploy the 82d Airborne. They are the premier large scale fighting force in the American military. The 82d Airborne trains and lives for this moment. Already, they have prepared a scenario exactly for this moment. They are trained. Their mission means ready to "rock and roll" in 72 hours. In this case, they are sitting on the runway, waiting on the green light. It is time to do it. And, once the mission is completed, "wheels up" on the way home, the Kurt's have the mission.

BOBBING ISSIS

Ordinarily I would oppose a decision to even think of doing anything with Iraq but I think Ryan Crocker is right, “This is about America’s national security,” said Ryan Crocker, who was ambassador to Iraq under Mr. Bush and to Afghanistan under Mr. Obama. “We don’t understand real evil, organized evil, very well. This is evil incarnate." People like Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi,” the ISIS leader, “have been in a fight for a decade. They are messianic in their vision, and they are not going to stop.”

The President has made a courageous decision. Politically,  he can't win.  The fact is, ISIS will kill innocent people indiscriminately and we have "try" to prevent it. God bless us. 

AFFLUENCE A Tour in the MARINES

A young photographer discovers his family to be a family who wrote the book on "dysfunctionalty." A world of money and very affluent kids who feel privileged is the backdrop. They have incorporated parental values into their own. Talk about a f..ked up scene. 

Dylan, the photographer is himself a self aware pot head. This is really scary for a grandpa with his oldest granddaughter going off to college. 

Parents ought to see this. In a sense though this may be mainly just over the top but don't think so. Dylan's Uncle: Steven Gutenburg, 

plays the part of a Wall Street tycoon who gives new meaning to the world of hypocrisy and the "f" word. I am blown away. 

I didn't even mean to watch this movie but became mesmerized. It is kind of a coming of age movie but more. The financial collapse is the final undoing of the tranquil indulgences. The "material" issues go dark and are vaporized. The movie keeps trying to find a redeeming character.  Dylan comes close but his constant pot smoking doesn't do it for me. 

This is an aside but holds that ever kernel  of truth. The kids in this movie are pretty pathetic. Even if only nominally accurate, they are way too many. A joke among my friends when we see these kids is that they need a tour in the Marines. More truth than fiction. These kids of Affluenza have no direction, trade on the perceived influence of a relative and would've know discipline if it ran over them. Sound like a candidate for the Marines. F..king A. 

Our country was sold a bill of goods by the late Economist Milt Freeman and at that time Mel Laird who was the secretary of Defense. I have no doubt that these are honorable men  who had no earthly idea of the unintended consequences of their ill defined cause would unlease.  Maybe they did. I've actually read that Friedman held the philosophy that the draft was actually incompatible with compulsory service. Laird may have simply been duped. Quite the opposite is true. Is there anything more compatible than a fair and comprehensive draft. I don't think so. 

FIRED. PINK SLIPPED

 The Army “pink slipped ” nearly 1,200 officers involuntarily selected to separate; some while deployed in combat zones.

The 87 deployed captains (O-3), once notified, immediately received “change of mission” orders and will be out of country within 30 days. They were given the choice to either return to home duty station or to a transition location of choice and given 10 months to separate. 

The above is the news item. As my Mom would say, this is scandalous. Let's use the correct term,  of "fired." Tom and I know about being fired. Getting SERBed was the best thing that could have happened to me. I was doing basically nothing. But, for me to say that it was not humiliating or disingenuous to blow it off would be untrue. We all can understand the chief's office when they got a chance to throw my ass out. I had burned bridges everywhere but for a guy like Tom and Bob Campbell, it was absolutely unbelievable. And now to see the sorry way the Army is doing and the Chief's office probably, if they get a chance. I was at Bliss when they had the RIF (reduction on Force). They threw out guys who had given their life's blood, mainly young helicopter pilots who had been to Vietnam over and over. You think the Army cared. Bullshit. It is not personal, it is "bean counters" but they (the RIFed) took it personal. I should have done more then. 

With the SERB, they probably violated a contract that we could stay to 30 but it was changed without our knowing it. In fact, I had been through the drill of "regular army", remember that? A commander I had insisted I go through that whole BS process for RA; that lasted a few years and the whole system was changed. Now, here comes another "firing" and some of it is done while the poor guys are at war. I will be kicking and screaming and raising hell any way I can. At least I want them to use the right term: FIRED. . 

PTSD

I am pretty much with Dave but will have to say, I am somewhat confused about it all, too. I do support a more open stance on it. The government throws away so much money, why not give to those who have been to war and need it. I have never filed a claim on PTSD and wouldn't. Know why? I don't need the money? But, lots do and they realize, although questionable to us, in their minds, not so. I basically think that any of us who have been in combat units have some measure of PTSD. I am sure Dave does. Two tours, how could he no? I blame a lot of things on Vietnam. Jackie says if I didn't have Vietnam, what would I do? I am scared of the dark. Not just not going out in the dark. It frightens me. In Vietnam everything happened at night. During the day, no sweat. But, come the dark, we are talking fire fights mortars, etc. ; you got where you dreaded the dark. So, PTSD. DANG, if I know. 

Guys in Iraq and Afghanistan were filing claims before they left the war. They are social media savvy and don't mess around. We are in a phenom, everybody loves the soldier or the vet. I mean, come on? Even the Democrats and Republicans got together to pass a bill on VA. Now, 10 chaps, this is something to discuss. What is going on.? Will it last? What caused it. Vietnam vets went from being derided, to everybody wants to be one.

FIRING

Dear Ms Pelosi. "Fired" is a term that the mitary never uses. They love to choose acronyms, RIF (reduction in force) or SERB (selective early retirement board ). But, "fired" is the reality of what the military is about to do. The indiscriminate reductions will be demoralizing to the military. What the Army leadership has already shown is that the decision makers have no earthly idea of what it means: "Firing" young captains who are off at war. As my mom would say, "scandalous." 

I was at Fort Bliss in Texas when we had the RIF (Reduction in Force ) after Vietnam. The military threw out soldiers who had literally given their life's blood, young helicopter pilots, for instance; who had been to Vietnam over and over. It is not personal, with what we call, "bean counters" but they (the RIFed) take it personally. For Vietnam, we used them up and threw them out like yesterday's garbage. 

I am retired military and one of your constituents and see us in a crucial spot. As the Army draws down, my suggestion is to maintain troop levels without "firing" soldiers. Normal attrition will take care of the issue I think. 

One of my big concerns is that Congress will be led down the primrose path by the generals and high ranking civilians. Often, they talk about their concern for soldiers but it comes across  empty. "Nothing is too good for the soldier and that is what they get, nothing." 

Give the Army a mission order: "reduce the Army." They look at the numbers without counting the cost, it affects morale, unit integrity and motivation. 

We probably have too many generals and we need to reduce their ranks. Think about it. We "fire" the heart of the Army, young Captains; and we don't touch the generals. (This is just speculation and to be fair, I am just giving an example). But, when I watch the military in Congressional hearings, I often think to myself, does Congress have a clue of their BS. 

Thank you for this opportunity. I haven't told you anything that you probably
don't already know. This is just feedback from my perspective. I have nothing to gain and have no agenda other than "always for the troops." 

Jerry Autry
Chaplain (COL)
USA, Ret. 

JIM ROCKFORD

Jim Garner, my hero, just died. When I was in the Army, the only way my daughter could stay up late if she was watching The Rockford Files with me. He was my hero. I was Jim Rockford. He lived with his dad in a trailer and had a great car. It was one of those sporty Pontiac's. He loved that car. 

After the military, I can remember writing a piece about him for a now defunct newspaper. I was maxed out upset to see the show end and went through a period of grief. How could Jim leave us? Looking back now, "The Rockford Files" was a much simpler time. His cases were pretty straight forward. Rarely was there gun play. I think he had a girl friend but there was little snuggle time if you get my drift. Rocky, the Dad lived with him but we don't much family drama: no Twitter/Facebook. I still miss Jim Rockford. God bless him on his journey. 

POT

Drugs are a scourge. Let's get that out of the way. I often debate friends, other professionals, whoever they might be, whether "pot" is a gateway drug. Recently, I have confirmed it again in my own mind and it is bullshit to say it isn't. Here's an example. 

In a set of circumstances, I tried to assist a family member in getting into a drug rehab program. Here are a string of emails, disguised of course. The issue at hand is getting a "heroin addict" in a program. 

I think I have a plan of action.  I will pass my ideas along to the Grandparents who will

possibly fund treatment if neccesary. 

Here is my plan: As a test of resolve and intent, I asked the immediate family members (mother/father) to set up a meeting with the "addict," the two of them and me. I would discuss what would be needed for me to recommend to the grandparents that they get financially involved, i. e., paying for rehab. 

This is a test for the parents, obviously.  The parents wrote the book on dysfunction. If the parents cannot make this happen, rehab would be a waste of time and money. For someone to go to rehab, get clean and return to the same environment is simply stupid. The addict/daughter has to want this, not simply be willing, the parents must understand the commitment they are signing up for.  

Of all the drugs, heroin is the most difficult to come off and stay off.  To me, with my years of experience with soldiers and drugs, this is step #1.

This is the Grandmother's email to the addict granddaughter: 

1. The only thing that matters between you and me is how very much I have always loved you, and always will; how much you love me.
   
2. I know you are a heroin addict. (Just learned.)
   

Any shame or disappointment or anger you imagine I might feel would be meaningless even if it were real. Any disappointment or anger or betrayal you might feel – because I did not figure out what was going on with you, because I failed in my role as the source of strength and wisdom you believed you could count on, your invincible protector – all of that is now meaningless, even if it were real.

 The world boils down to two incontrovertible truths:

1. You are in a fight for your life. And the only person in the world who can fight that fight … is you.
   
2. Games and denial will kill you. If you choose not to fight, you will die. If you choose to die, it is my greatest wish that, as you take your last breath, you will hold in your heart all the love I feel for you. You have always been the light of my life. Nothing you have ever done, or ever will do, can ever change that.
   

 Just like everything else in life, this is a choice. This is the most difficult choice you will ever face, because you are engaged with a demon that will never wave a fond farewell. Every day of your life, you will wake up and look in the mirror and see that demon standing beside you. Your only hope of survival is to surround yourself with people who know how to fight this demon. People who will help you remember how very important you are to the world. Not just to my world; but to your own world. The talents you bring to the world. Your capacity to love and be loved by so many of us. All of that is worth living for.

 Be very clear, no matter how much we all wish it were not so – no matter how desperately I wish I could wrap you in my arms and save you from this ravenous disease that can, without doubt, steal you away from me … there is no one currently in your world, who can give you the help you need. You must choose to seek that help, those people, on your own.

 Please, Please choose to fight. Please choose to seek the people who can help you. You do not have to walk this horror alone.

One of the great advantages of being a soldier all these years, you get hardened to the BS factor. All we are interested in is the "Addict." This is only about her. I don't hold out much hope, the term, the demon, pretty appropriate. . 

All of her family appear to be pretty sad characters. Based on past experience I have to say, to be even more candid, I have to say that I am not so much hopeful as realistic. The addict is not going to follow through and when they do, she is 26 -- so no minor/legal issues; plus I can't imagine two more toxic people to have around someone who might be trying to find the courage to heal. And certainly, they aren't exactly role models for the process! Admit to regularly smoking pot and abusing other drugs and alcohol. 

HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THE ORIGINAL QUESTION?

Is pot a gateway drug?

Me: what are you taking?

Addict: I have been clean for a week. 

Before then?

Heroin

Were you shooting up? 

Yes.

How did you start with drugs? 

I started with marihuana. 

Then what happened?

After awhile, I wanted something stronger. 

Do you think all drug users begin with pot

I do. It does with everybody I know. 

 

Rational Emotive Therapy

"Don't believe everything you think" (saw this on a bumper sticker). This is the theme of RET (Rational Emotive Therapy) called by many names and basically says, "it is not what happens to you that is the problem but how you look at it." In other words, what you think about it. 

Albert Ellis, who has departed this life and I am not sure where he is in the next as he was an avowed atheist. But, he was so objective about issues that this is what he would say: "Nobody has ever proven there is a God but nobody has ever proven, there isn't." See what I mean. Your thoughts will often get you in a personal abyss, if you are not on top of them. We already do it but work to always have positive conversations in your head. Simple example, You think something. "Someone doesn't like you." Why is that? 

"They snubbed me." 
How? 
"They didn't speak to me." 
Maybe they didn't see me. Their life is out of control, they are just trying to make it through the day. Loads of things. (Self talk in your head). You control your thinking and "don't believe everything you think."

 

The New VA Chief Nomination.

The Prez's new appointment to be VA Chief sounds good on paper. I am a midget so not a big deal what I think. The big news is that he is a West Point Graduate and business type. His education at West Point costs us a cool mil, minimum. For a great education he had to pay back five years. What I have noticed with West Point, "ring knockers," as we call them: They have loyalty to West Point, not necessarily to the military that serves the country. So, is he a good choice and does touting his West Point connection make him the best. Maybe, he is a paratrooper and this gives him points. VA has some problems and I do think they overall get a bad wrap. Thinking one man is magic, what the f..k are we smoking!!! 

A NO HITTER

Sometimes in life, things happen to you that defy explanation. Not that it is all that unorthodox but still there are times in your life that are "gee whiz" events. I just had one. Sharon, a really good friend, fought breast cancer for two or three years. To say that she was pretty remarkable before the breast cancer diagnosis would be an understatement. After the diagnosis, she ramped it up several notches. 

Cancer is such an insidious disease and it never affects any two just alike. Sharon did everything right. She fought it: a double mastectomy, clinical trials, you name it. None of it worked. All of us who knew her had no doubt she would beat it. She didn't. 

Sharon's life had never been easy. Fighting for things, the child who had to be the parent to a mother with mental illness. Always she was charging. My goodness. A marriage that died because of a narcissistic physician husband who believed what people told him about physicians' place in the Trinity. Finally, divorced, relieved of this burden, she went to school; working, making contributions in her community, her church. In a word, she was fantastic. Her loss to the universe--the collective holes in our hearts; we thought the universe might possibly sink under the weight of our grief. 

Now gone a couple of years, her husband, Nick, calls me. "Want to go to a ballgame." Did I mention that Sharon's sport passion in life was baseball. She didnot just love it, she breathed it, her overwhelming interest; the SF Giants. Equally she loved the Oakland Athletics. Let's face it, she loved baseball. She knew the players, stats--she believed in the strategy. Want to get in a discussion? Start talking about the game being slow. "You have to understand the strategy," she would emphatically say. She could have easily been an announcer or better still, a manager. 

(To Nick, on a game) "Sure." 

"Well, there are a couple of day games." To be honest I was not all that excited (I love to watch baseball but mainly from the comfort of my living room where my ADD could multitask). She mildly chastised me a couple of times for getting restless at games. She only put up with me because I was always up for going mostly to anything, but, for her, my company at baseball was just fine. 

Nick mentioned, "I feel compelled, haven't been to a game lately and Sharon would want to go." I didn't take much convincing as a flood of memories swamped me. So, here we are going to the game. We don't even have tickets. We did make it: went to the ballgame. Saw a "no hitter," We were stunned. I am convinced that Sharon made it happen. She loved baseball and the two people she loved most in the whole world were at the game and she needed to make it special and what better way than a "no hitter." A miracle. ⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾

Iraq

Watching these columns of ISSI trucks in the desert snaking their way toward Baghdad maybe. A half dozen F15s could have laid waste to this group. If we are going to do something, let's do it and get the hell out. Why would we wait on the Iraqis, we have been doing that for years and they haven't done s..t. 

VIETNAM Confession

I heard today a really interesting statistic: 75% of Vietvets are dead. Wow. It is true of my old unit. It reminded me of something confessing at this late date of my life. I am not sure if I told you but when I first got to Germany this Lieutentamt came to see me as he had orders for Vietnam and I had just returned. We had a talk and he left out of my office, got in his MG and defected to Sweden. It got to be a big joke: don't be letting people talk to the chaplain, they'll go AWOL (absent without leave).  Although most took it as a joke, the commander didn't. He became convinced that I talked the Lieutenant into deserting. The commander and I were already at odds, however.  It was a missile unit and he thought I was gone from the headquarters. I disagreed and felt my job was visiting the troops. The commander reported his suspicions to our higher headquarters. Some Major came out to question me. I denied saying anything to the Lieutenant that would cause him to go AWOL. The Major was gung HO, pretty arrogant and I eventually told him to kiss my behind. It was a very tough time in Germany in general. Many of the soldiers had just come from Vietnam. They had been at war and here the Army wanted them to soldier, spit shine boots, etc. They weren't having any of it. Lots got involved in drugs. Many, simply crashed and burned. I blame the Generals and higher ups. They didn't do anything to help. The racial climate was awful. As for my situation, it blew over. 

Did I suggest to the Lieutenant that he should consider another course of action. Yes. I told him what Vietnam was like. That he had a good chance of getting killed, that I had become disillusioned with the war and that I would probably go back to Vietnam because I had an obligation to the troops. Yes, I confess, I probably encouraged him to defect. 40 years later, how do I feel about it. I wish I had talked more into it. 

Richard Pearl

If I am not mistaken, Tommy Franks, the general who led the American invasion of Iraq, called Richard Pearl, one of the NEOCONS, the dumbest man in America. I heard Richard Pearl today on NPRs "Take Away." I think Gen Frank (Although he is not blameless on Iraq) had something but Pearl is in mainly a sense of denial about what is. No politician/General or someone like Pearl will admit they "fucked up."

INCOME EQUALITY

A couple of nights ago, NPR (National Public Radio) profiled a youngster in Washington DC who is the valedictorian of her class, Anacostia High. She is homeless. My wife went to Anacostia High.  

This youngster is an example of why "income inequity" is a crucial issue. Here's a rhetorical question. How many of us are moved/inspired by this story enough to get financially involved? I venture to say that most of the NPR audience would be more likely to help than most.  Those who have the big bucks probably wouldn't do s..t. 

My wife tells me, "wake up and smell the roses," greed is what drives the super rich, many of whom made enough money in the stock market yesterday to fund this homeless youngster through her entire college years. 

In a real sense, our philosophy is simply f..ked. F..ked being the strongest anachronism for the moral ineptitude of most  "Mericans."

"Of my father's children, I love myself the best. If the Lord provides for me, the devil take the rest." 

SCAM

"Mericans" are the most generous people on the planet, let's face it. The Sunday NYT had a story about how orphanes in Cambodia are using kids, many who have parents, to vigorously tug the heart strings of wealthy individuals. In other words, suckering the donors. 

I thought of my Army experience in Korea with orphanges. (We still have 40,000 troops in Korea). The soldiers invariably get involved with orphanages. And, not a bad thing. These orphans are not "orphans" in the strict sense but a cultural thing. Koreans don't believe in promiscuity. Oh yeah! Guess what? It exists in Korea. The female, sans husband, is hidden away; D day and then the baby, at some point is taken to some public place and abandoned, in a responsible way--very organized and never discussed. (Koreans, that I love, wrote the book on denial). The police come, get the baby, take it to a baby orphanage. "Mericans" in the military get involved. I sponsored a six year old. I would get him from the orphanage, take him to the American Camp and let him spend the day: good eats, a present. A feel good thing. I had to teach my little troop how to use an indoor bathroom. I demonstrated. He got it.