POT

Drugs are a scourge. Let's get that out of the way. I often debate friends, other professionals, whoever they might be, whether "pot" is a gateway drug. Recently, I have confirmed it again in my own mind and it is bullshit to say it isn't. Here's an example. 

In a set of circumstances, I tried to assist a family member in getting into a drug rehab program. Here are a string of emails, disguised of course. The issue at hand is getting a "heroin addict" in a program. 

I think I have a plan of action.  I will pass my ideas along to the Grandparents who will

possibly fund treatment if neccesary. 

Here is my plan: As a test of resolve and intent, I asked the immediate family members (mother/father) to set up a meeting with the "addict," the two of them and me. I would discuss what would be needed for me to recommend to the grandparents that they get financially involved, i. e., paying for rehab. 

This is a test for the parents, obviously.  The parents wrote the book on dysfunction. If the parents cannot make this happen, rehab would be a waste of time and money. For someone to go to rehab, get clean and return to the same environment is simply stupid. The addict/daughter has to want this, not simply be willing, the parents must understand the commitment they are signing up for.  

Of all the drugs, heroin is the most difficult to come off and stay off.  To me, with my years of experience with soldiers and drugs, this is step #1.

This is the Grandmother's email to the addict granddaughter: 

1. The only thing that matters between you and me is how very much I have always loved you, and always will; how much you love me.
   
2. I know you are a heroin addict. (Just learned.)
   

Any shame or disappointment or anger you imagine I might feel would be meaningless even if it were real. Any disappointment or anger or betrayal you might feel – because I did not figure out what was going on with you, because I failed in my role as the source of strength and wisdom you believed you could count on, your invincible protector – all of that is now meaningless, even if it were real.

 The world boils down to two incontrovertible truths:

1. You are in a fight for your life. And the only person in the world who can fight that fight … is you.
   
2. Games and denial will kill you. If you choose not to fight, you will die. If you choose to die, it is my greatest wish that, as you take your last breath, you will hold in your heart all the love I feel for you. You have always been the light of my life. Nothing you have ever done, or ever will do, can ever change that.
   

 Just like everything else in life, this is a choice. This is the most difficult choice you will ever face, because you are engaged with a demon that will never wave a fond farewell. Every day of your life, you will wake up and look in the mirror and see that demon standing beside you. Your only hope of survival is to surround yourself with people who know how to fight this demon. People who will help you remember how very important you are to the world. Not just to my world; but to your own world. The talents you bring to the world. Your capacity to love and be loved by so many of us. All of that is worth living for.

 Be very clear, no matter how much we all wish it were not so – no matter how desperately I wish I could wrap you in my arms and save you from this ravenous disease that can, without doubt, steal you away from me … there is no one currently in your world, who can give you the help you need. You must choose to seek that help, those people, on your own.

 Please, Please choose to fight. Please choose to seek the people who can help you. You do not have to walk this horror alone.

One of the great advantages of being a soldier all these years, you get hardened to the BS factor. All we are interested in is the "Addict." This is only about her. I don't hold out much hope, the term, the demon, pretty appropriate. . 

All of her family appear to be pretty sad characters. Based on past experience I have to say, to be even more candid, I have to say that I am not so much hopeful as realistic. The addict is not going to follow through and when they do, she is 26 -- so no minor/legal issues; plus I can't imagine two more toxic people to have around someone who might be trying to find the courage to heal. And certainly, they aren't exactly role models for the process! Admit to regularly smoking pot and abusing other drugs and alcohol. 

HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THE ORIGINAL QUESTION?

Is pot a gateway drug?

Me: what are you taking?

Addict: I have been clean for a week. 

Before then?

Heroin

Were you shooting up? 

Yes.

How did you start with drugs? 

I started with marihuana. 

Then what happened?

After awhile, I wanted something stronger. 

Do you think all drug users begin with pot

I do. It does with everybody I know.