VIETNAM Confession

I heard today a really interesting statistic: 75% of Vietvets are dead. Wow. It is true of my old unit. It reminded me of something confessing at this late date of my life. I am not sure if I told you but when I first got to Germany this Lieutentamt came to see me as he had orders for Vietnam and I had just returned. We had a talk and he left out of my office, got in his MG and defected to Sweden. It got to be a big joke: don't be letting people talk to the chaplain, they'll go AWOL (absent without leave).  Although most took it as a joke, the commander didn't. He became convinced that I talked the Lieutenant into deserting. The commander and I were already at odds, however.  It was a missile unit and he thought I was gone from the headquarters. I disagreed and felt my job was visiting the troops. The commander reported his suspicions to our higher headquarters. Some Major came out to question me. I denied saying anything to the Lieutenant that would cause him to go AWOL. The Major was gung HO, pretty arrogant and I eventually told him to kiss my behind. It was a very tough time in Germany in general. Many of the soldiers had just come from Vietnam. They had been at war and here the Army wanted them to soldier, spit shine boots, etc. They weren't having any of it. Lots got involved in drugs. Many, simply crashed and burned. I blame the Generals and higher ups. They didn't do anything to help. The racial climate was awful. As for my situation, it blew over. 

Did I suggest to the Lieutenant that he should consider another course of action. Yes. I told him what Vietnam was like. That he had a good chance of getting killed, that I had become disillusioned with the war and that I would probably go back to Vietnam because I had an obligation to the troops. Yes, I confess, I probably encouraged him to defect. 40 years later, how do I feel about it. I wish I had talked more into it.