When I was in the Army in Germany in the early seventies, they were still putting soldiers on KP (kitchen police), washing dishes, bussing tables, etc. When I would go into the Mess Hall in one of our Missile Batteries, this one GI was always washing dishes. Looking at him was painful. He was absolutely and I'm being kind, hideous looking. I felt so sorry for him. He looked like that youngster in the movie "Mask," but worst. In the movie, the character suffers from a facial deformity called "lionitis." Cher was the movie mother.
The GI had this hydrocephalus look like in the movie. He was a McNamara 100,000, guys who had low IQs but the Army needed bodies and so they were drafted. How he made it in was beyond me. He told me he tried to disguise himself. A doc declared him fit and here he was.
He was almost impossible to describe. No exaggeration, really. Eyes wide apart, simply weird. People just stayed away. I would intentionally go in and shoot the breeze with him. I was a young captain, been in the Army less than two years, just back from Vietnam, 27. Didn't know my arsh from a hole in the ground.
The GI had a little bunk in the back of the mess hall. I felt so sorry for him, honestly. One day I'm playing tennis with this doc buddy and he's bitching about not having enough to do. What does an Oral Surgeon do anyway? He tells me and I immediately thought of the GI; what about taking a look? I round up the soldier and get him to my buddy, the Oral Surgeon. About two hours later I'm still waiting. My Doc friend finally comes out from behind closed doors with three other doctors. They are taking this soldier on as a project. Long story short, they repositioned his teeth, did a little plastic surgery, there is no way to exaggerate this. When they were through, this GI looked like a different person, unbelievably handsome even. He could hardly believe it. I could hardly believe it-- one happy soldier. HELL OF A LOT BETTER THAN MAKING WAR.
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