A CLOSET JEW

I'm hanging out with my "Girlfriends" one day recently and Michael, a Jewish bud has been given a book called Haikus for Jews. It is a Zen sort of thing. But, I am attracted to the book because I'm thinking it might be the type of book format that I want for the family memoirs about my four brothers and myself growing up on a tobacco farm in North Carolina. The book, Haikus For Jews, is hard back and probably 4X6 in size. I'm telling this to Michael and he tells me to take the book.

I decide to go to the gym to work out: this is the gym for USF (U. of San Francisco, private, Catholic, Jesuit). Anyway, I do a few minutes on the rowing machine before they throw me out. Some rule that you can't exercise in bluejeans. Leave it to the Catholics to have a few rules. Anyway, I'm leaving and this couple stops me and says, "Are you Jewish?" Apparently, he has seen the book as I had it lying beside me at the rowing machine. I say, "Yes". Don't know why I said it, kind of joking, will say anything. And, he lights into me. I try to get a word in. He says all the stuff we've heard about Israel destroying the Palestinians. How heavy handed they are. How much the Palestinians need a homeland. The issue of the Jews in the West Bank. He pauses and I am ready to jump in with, I feel sorry about it all but people have a right to defend themselves, but before I can, his wife zaps me. "The American Jewish community is insensitive to what is happening with the Palestinians. Why do we discount the rest of world opinion." Then she stops and by this time, I'm thinking escape, nothing to be gained at this and I messed up I guess by kidding that I was Jewish. I should have known the Catholics couldn't take a joke. So, I decide on the spot to come clean and say, "You know, to be honest, I lied, I'm not Jewish, this is not my book. Sorry" and I walk off. It was kind of a "had to be there" thing but honestly, this is a story of the power of a book without being read.

And, it is also a story of communication or the lack thereof. We sometimes have such a great need to get our opinion across that we can't hear what others say. I should have punched the guy out.